Chapter three:
The morning came softly this time…pale and sweet like a kiss from dead lips. The sun was like a dying firefly as it lifted itself up out of the ashes of the mountains in the distance…so far away…the sky was hazy with smoke from the city as the streets began to bustle with the growing life that meandered within the protective barrier provided by the skyscrapers, which barely scraped the sky. A dream seemed to have shifted into existence as a wind tore through the city in a torrid way, anger in its voice as it howled away the night. The clouds rolled away and provided a brighter sun…and we awoke…
Siraj’s eyes fluttered open and the smell of cigarettes filled his nostrils. Heaving in a deep breath of the toxin, he smiled partially, knowing that Hellion would hate him later for the action. Sitting up, he glanced around the room, wondering where he was. This was the usual morning for him. Leaned there against a wall, he attempted to figure out where he currently was. He could not remember ever coming to this room. Hellion always left him in a strange place while he slept through the remainder of the night.
“I should go outside.” Siraj murmured, his words soft and lucid.
“Good luck with that.” A man’s voice growled from a dark corner. His voice was gargled and old as if he had been smoking tobacco for the majority of his life. “You’re in the city jail. How do you think you can just “go outside” as you say you intend to, ignorant brat?”
Siraj frowned, his face contorting in disgust as he looked around at the several shadowed and bright morning light sprayed faces of the other men that surrounded him. Now, he could see the large brick walls that were on the three corners and the thick bars that stood on the one wall and led out into the hallway where the guards stalked. Dirt coated every wall and there was a visible blood stain near one of the darker corners. Grim faces were worn by everyone.
“Hellion…” Siraj muttered, not caring what a single person there thought about him talking to himself. “What in the name of hell…”
What is wrong with you? You sound agitated…
Siraj smiled partially as he limped away from the center of the room and to the corner where the blood stain resided. Once there, he was not surprised that the others went to the opposing side, obviously believing him to be crazy. Still, this was the first time Siraj had dared to speak to his residing vampire while he was in control of his own body and he was both surprised and pleased to hear the exhaustion in Hellion’s voice.
“I’m in a prison, you fool, and it is your making.” Siraj hissed in as low of a hush as he could so as not to draw too much attention to himself. Nevertheless, he was receiving suspicious glances from both inmates and pacing guards. “How did this come about?”
Uh…I do not recall much of the later night…save that…I was walking through the streets and two men in strange attire approached me and accused me of staying past a curfew of some form and I was to be moved to my home…which I do not remember the…what was it the man asked for? An…address? I believe, that is what he was asking for…and this…address…escaped my memory…and, no matter how many times I called out to you, you still slept…a fool…you call me such…because of you, I could not tell them the address you reside in…though…I did give them your name, age, lineage, and school…but I could not remember the strange…phone…number…that he asked for either…
Siraj let out a frustrated sigh. Once more, he had been forced into an unusual predicament because of Hellion. Likely, it had been Hellion’s persistent cries to Siraj that had caused the officers to think he was under the influence of either alcohol or drugs and so they had been forced to bring him to the jail where he could be quarantined long enough to run tests and contact his parents. He would be let off free; he knew that was for sure, but he would never be able to erase this jail visit from his record.
“Hellion…I hate you…” Siraj snarled then realized just how loud he had spoken when a guard outside flinched to a stop and every inmate in the room turned their heads to stare at him. He ignored them, letting his face drop into his bent legs. “You idiot…now…I will live with this on my shoulders forever…”
I think you worry too much…for such young blood…still, I blame you…it was your fault for sleeping…now, I’m exhausted…
“Get me out of here.” Siraj whispered, his face paling as he felt some form of insect beginning to crawl over his skin and dig into his clothes. “I don’t care how…just…do…it…”
To use my…strength…to use my…power in the direct presence of sunlight…and we both die…
“Wouldn’t that be wonderful?” Siraj muttered, grinning a little. “If you and I die…together…”
How romantic of you, Siraj. I thought you hated the likes of me…still, your words are passionate and affectionate in many ways, taking flight in my heart and causing me to long for you. For us to die together…I long for that…for us to embrace…if only once…and to kiss…if only once…and then to die peacefully, my heart satisfied to have just known the likes of you…a mere human…whom I adore…and admire…you have my respect, Siraj, and that is not so easily given.
Siraj felt his cheeks warming with the passion inside of Hellion’s voice. He had never known that he felt that strongly about what Hellion spoke of. When Hellion took control over Siraj’s body and spoke with Siraj, the young man could not feel a single emotion, except the ones that Hellion felt. Now, Siraj understood that, though he hated Hellion with a growing fervency, the more that he was left to hate the vampire, the more he grew to love him.
Again, you fall silent. Siraj…lend me your voice…I want to know your thoughts…and feel the feelings you feel…and know what you desire in this single moment…if only to feel it for a moment…and understand you for a mere second…I would enjoy that…and finally feel at ease with my choice to possess your body…
Siraj’s heart jumped inside of his chest. Had Hellion said that he was uneasy with his decision to possess Siraj’s body? His heart began to race. Could Hellion have desired a different course and have wanted to not possess the young man’s body? Could he have wanted to follow a different path?
You awaken me to torment me with silence. I do not desire to feel your abandonment. If you only have so much to say then I desire to hear no more. Do not awaken me. I wish to sleep.
Siraj let out a heavy sigh. “Sleep well, Hellion.”
Your voice…is a lullaby…sweet like honey…soft like milk…warm like a fire on a cold winter night…and you soothe me…to sleep…until tonight, Siraj…
“Hey, brat! Are you Siraj Rapture?” A guard asked from safely beyond the bars.
Siraj lifted his head and stared at the guard and then stood. “Yes, I am.”
“You tested clear of alcohol, narcotics, and tobacco consumption.” The guard went on to say in a gruff voice as Siraj approached him. “The only other explanation is that you’re completely crazy. There is a psychiatrist here to see you. Your parents also agreed to allow this to happen. They say they’re too afraid to deal with you themselves.”
Siraj sighed. “I’m not crazy. My family and I are going through some rough times right now. All of the family is affected and not a single person wants to admit to it. If it seems as if I or any of my siblings or my parents are acting strange then that is why.”
“Perhaps talking to someone you call “Hellion” might be a little overboard.” A man’s voice broke across the air and Siraj turned to stare into the needle-like eyes of a tall handsome man.
With reddening cheeks, Siraj spoke with as little of a stutter as he could, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Hellion…is a rare name…” The man smiled deviously. “But it would fit you. It means, “troublesome child or a troublesome or rowdy person, especially a child” and is a very informal word. It was created in the mid nineteenth century and was probably an alteration, influenced by hell, of the Scots and Northern English dialect “hallion” meaning “idler,” but its origin is unknown.”
I do not like this one.
“Sounds like you enjoyed researching that one.” Siraj smiled. “If you’re knowledgeable, tell me what “requiem” means.”
“It’s a Roman Catholic service for the dead.” The man went on to explain. “In essence, a Roman Catholic mass held to offer prayers for somebody who has died. It is also the music piece written to accompany a requiem mass and is the term used for a piece of music written to commemorate somebody who has died. It was created in the fourteenth century from Latin, meaning “rest” in Requiem aeternam dona eis Domine, which is “Grant them eternal rest, O Lord.”
Siraj wanted to hit the man as several men within the room nearly laughed at the encounter.
“My name is Gwen Tenor.” The man introduced himself. “I am the psychiatrist that came to view you before we permit you back out into the public world.”
“I’m not crazy.” Siraj stated sternly and fiercely, his look capable of burning holes into his prey.
You tell him.
Siraj nearly collapsed at the sarcasm in Hellion’s voice. He realized that, though Hellion claimed love for him, the vampire was incapable of living a moment without torturing him.
“You seem fairly stern on that fact.” Gwen smiled broadly as if the action would lighten the mood, but his action only caused Siraj to want to hit him all the more. “But there is no other choice, but for you to take a test and see where you truly stand. If you really are not crazy then you should pass fine.”
Are you up for the challenge, Siraj?
Siraj had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from asking Hellion why he was not sleeping as the vampire had intended to do.
“You’re right.” Siraj smiled in a mischievous way. “I’ll take your test then.”
“Good.”
The man nodded to the guard, whom then proceeded to unlock the door and permit Siraj to leave the cell. After being handcuffed, the young man was led into an interrogation room and forced to sit in a chair. Gwen set himself neatly down in the seat across from him and smiled in a calm self-possessed way.
“So, you’re not crazy.” The man stated, brushing back his hair. “But we have several witnesses from your school, the street, your home, and even that prison cell itself that you are talking to someone, whom you always call “Hellion.” Any particular reason why that name?”
Because I was born with it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Siraj wanted to hit Hellion in that moment, but this was not the first time he had wanted to cause the vampire pain.
“I see.” The man smiled as he picked up a remote and held it to a television where he then brought on the screen an image of Siraj in his bedroom, his body trembling and sweat pouring down his skin.
“Hellion!” He was screaming. “Hellion! What’s the matter with you? What’s your problem? Why? Why? I don’t understand! Hellion!”
The man paused the screen and turned back to Siraj. “Your parents video taped that and gave it to me this morning. They’re waiting in the lobby and they say you’ve been acting strange since the beginning of summer break. Any good reason? Who is Hellion, Siraj?”
“This isn’t a test.” Siraj pointed out, his eyes accusing.
“Who is Hellion?”
Siraj’s lover.
Siraj felt his cheeks reddening before he could gain control over himself. “He’s no one. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“He must be important to you.” Gwen continued. “For you to have such a reaction in your room then for the mere mentioning of him making your cheeks turn red. On top of that, you seem to be defending him quite sternly. Who is Hellion?”
So, you do like me, Siraj…how pleasant…it is sad, though, that I had to hear it from someone else’s tongue. Could you not, just once, admit that you love me in return?
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Siraj continued on, his voice stubborn.
“If you won’t answer my questions then you will be moved to a mental hospital.” Gwen informed Siraj in a harsher tone than the one he had been using. “We have enough evidence to prove that you have a form of relation with this Hellion. Now, it is your duty to answer my questions. This is a test to see how truthful you’re going to be.”
“His name is Hellion Requiem.” Siraj stated, catching the man off-guard. “At school, he had a different name. I liked him a lot, but, when I confessed my feelings for him, he got angry and then he left the school altogether. I haven’t heard from him since. It happened right before summer break started. I started to write a fantasy story and I gave him that name in the story…he’s a vampire…that’s all…I…refuse to remember his real name.”
The man was silent for a long time, trying to absorb the massive amount of new information that Siraj had given to him and then attempting to sort through it and tie it to the information he had already collected.
Is that the best you could come up with? You could not have been a little more imaginative and creative? What about you being a lover with this Hellion and then you rejecting his feelings when he wanted more and him committing suicide because his love for you was so great and your sudden desire to shun him was simply too much for him and so he died and now you bare the guilt of his death for the remainder of your life?
“Too long.” Siraj risked a mutter.
“What was that?” Gwen asked, looking at Siraj in surprise.
“You’re taking so long to think about that.” Siraj quickly restated.
“You had a girlfriend during last year, didn’t you?”
“I did…it was a cover.”
“Really…” Gwen said, his voice suspicious. “I highly doubt that. She broke up with you at the beginning of this school year claiming that you have become something completely different…and also claiming that you said something strange once…along the lines of desiring to drink her blood.”
Hmm…I recall saying that to Karen once while you slept.
“Hellion…” Siraj muttered and then realized what he was doing and quickly thought up an accompanying phrase. “Is the only one that matters to me. She was getting in the way, but I didn’t know how to end the relationship so I caused her to hate me. Hellion…I love him.”
Pangs of ice run through my veins and I can feel something exploding inside of me as if I am about to die…and I want nothing more because nothing else matters. I want to be held suddenly by cold arms and let myself rest in the embrace of someone strong and powerful…but not just anyone that is strong and powerful for there is only one who can take all the shattered pieces of my heart and hold them so gently and firmly that they remain held together…and that only one…is Hellion.
Gwen was silent again, his eyes searching Siraj’s. “You seemed genuine when you said that just now. All that before, however, sounded like something you were making up on a whim.”
“I’m sorry that it seems that way.” Siraj felt pain rising up into his throat. “But…it isn’t easy to talk about.”
He wanted to vomit. Though he had not meant a word of what he had said, the simple fact that he had “claimed love for Hellion” had caused his entire body to feel like icicles were piercing through his skin and into his flesh, burning and stinging the whole way. He wanted to scream, but knew that he could not. Hellion had a firm grip upon his heart.
“Hellion…” Gwen murmured. “I would like to see you and your siblings on a regular basis. It appears as if they face the same problems…which is why I don’t believe you. If it had been merely your dilemma to begin with then they would not face the same issues. It is apparent that you are lying…about the first part…but I do believe you meant this last phrase. You love Hellion, whoever he may be.”
“I…do…” Siraj murmured.
“I will release you from here then.” Gwen stood and Siraj did the same, but the edge of the table sliced a small nick in the middle of his hand. “But only on the condition that you and your siblings begin to see me on a regular basis. Otherwise, you will be moved to a mental hospital for studying. So, you love him? Who is he?”
Siraj glared at the man. “I love Hellion. There is nothing more to it. You do not need to know. It is my personal affair.”
Gwen grinned. “I see. I’ll keep that in mind. Oh, by the way, your parents, ex-girlfriend, and siblings all just heard that confession.”
Siraj’s chest wanted to explode again as pain shot through him.
What is a psychiatrist, Siraj? They seem to be devious men. I do not like them…but I do appreciate the event that just took place inside of your heart.
“That’s what I thought.” Gwen crossed his arms. “Your confession was also a lie.”
“It was not a lie!” Siraj shouted, following Hellion’s lead of words. He knew that Hellion would be the only one who could pull him out of the predicament. “Every word was true! You are just a devious man trying to twist my words and make me sound crazy! I am not lying! Hellion is the one I love! Who else in the world should care? What does it matter if my parents know? That girl…I do not care! It is just that…it has been a secret for so long…that…it took me off-guard. I cannot believe you would be this cruel! You are a psychiatrist! This is supposed to be confidential!”
It is?
“Hellion…” Siraj muttered, his voice low as he glared at the ground. “You know absolutely nothing.”
The words were pointed to Hellion, but Siraj had purposely caused them to sound like they were aimed at the man before him. He had learned to sneak phrases around because he had continually been tormented with Hellion’s presence in the first month of the vampire’s possession of his body.
Oh, really? Just because I do not know that simple fact, you claim that I know nothing at all! You are truly cruel! I just aided you in your predicament! You should give me more respect!
“I see.” Gwen let his arms slide back down to his sides. “You are perceptive and you do mean what you say. You do love this Hellion. Still, I do not believe your earlier story. Also, only your parents viewed this as it was requested by them and an interrogation does not have to be confidential. You did not request for it to be confidential. Furthermore, I would still like to see your siblings and you on a weekly basis.”
“I can agree to that.” Siraj let out a heavy breath. “Just…let me go home!”
“Very well.”
Walking out of the room, Siraj waited as an officer unlocked his handcuffs. As he waited, he stared into the horrified faces of his parents.
“You’re…you’re…gay?” His father asked, his face pale and mortified with the thought.
“Yes.” Siraj stated smoothly, afraid of showing the lie in his eyes.
Amy turned instantly into Richard, her face contorting into one of sorrow as tears streamed down her face. Her body was trembling as Richard put his arms around her.
“How could you possibly do that to us?” Richard asked, his voice harsh. “That is simply the worst! You are not allowed to be that way! You have to be…you have to be what we want you to be!”
“No.” Siraj stated, his voice stiff as he pulled his arms from behind and rubbed the sore wrists. “I want to be myself. I don’t care what you think. I don’t care what you want. This is who I am and I will remain that way.”
Walking past them, he started out of the police station, accidentally cutting his right hand on the desk of an officer, and headed down the street towards home, ignoring when his parents called for him. He did not want to talk to them. He did not want them to see the lies in his eyes. If they did then the entire encounter would have gone to waste and he would have been forced to start all over again, this time, with a different story. Anxiously, he rubbed his hands together, surprised when his hands burned.
You do know that we are married now, don’t you?
“What?” Siraj gasped.